PHRONTISTERIES

While waiting for my brother while he serenades his cantonese songs in the shower, I shall rant a little.

I feel pressurised, frustrated, irritated, and anything negative when people start attacking me with questions, things to discuss, 'how to do's, 'can i's, suggestions, deadlines from all corners of me, from my school life, external projects, friends, leisure, FUCKING EVERYWHERE.

Can't I have a space where there are no questions no fucking reminders no pressurising and a sanctuary where I can fucking think?

Can't everyone just stop trying to throw so much things at me and expect me to reciprocate pronto? Yes, I do having fucking commitments that sometime doesn't pertain ALL of you and I would appreciate very very very very greatly that when I don't approach you, don't approach me. I do not have the fucking time nor energy nor brainpower to do everything at the same time. I will juggle, yes, I'm not going to just throw aside commitments and not touch it until I complete the previous one. But even if I juggle, I need to set time aside, to plan and do stuffs at appropriate times.

I used to be so good at this, but well, so much for being less 'there' and more 'here' for myself.

It's not an abomination to be a little selfish for myself right?