What do I really want in life?

To really be able to be contented with everything I have, to wake up and not rush for anything at all, to be at ease, to be able to chill every single moment of my life.

I want pleasurable excitement, not frustrations and worries over stupid assignments that won't even be executed. I want to be able to plan something great and be able to execute it. That's my goal in life, everything in order, everything calm and controlled.

But you can't always get what you want, do you?

So I'm not giving up nor giving in, I'm just gonna work towards the day where I can live the way I want, and be what I wanna be.

BUT ONE THING STRAIGHT, I REALLY NEED MORE TIME. I need time for ideations, developments and whatnots, you can't just shit things out and expect yourself to be happy with it. I don't want to bootlick my lecturers by showing them how hardworking I am, completing all plans sections elevation that don't mean anything, but I want to be happy with my design. Why develop something that you don't like right?

I AM GOING TO WORK SMART.

Sorry for the ego monologue here, just the drugged me trying to remind the sober me what's more important in the long haul, a time to time reminder.